i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
