Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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