I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
