so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
