I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
