Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
