He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
