I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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