just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
