so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
