I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it's like iHOP with fire
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sorry my hands just texted you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
