it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
