how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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