He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
