Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
