Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
