I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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