also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
