Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
