have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
PANTIES FOUND
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