he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
