This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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