Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm getting married
To pizza
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is Oprah even human
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
