i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
