we have officially lost it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
