Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
