Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
