just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
