Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
