i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
