You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
