none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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