he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
that may or may not have been my penis.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
