Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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