I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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