I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He did a backflip because drugs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
