Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
pray to the hookup gods
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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