so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
