I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
