matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
