He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
