We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
