So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
