apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
