So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
