Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
