Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm passing your future prison.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
