I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
