Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
