Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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