His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
